SAVING THE VALUE OF PERSEVERANCE

"Nothing great is ever achieved without much enduring." -St. Catherine of Siena  

 
 
 

I was playing “Spikeball” with a few girls recently, and we were joking around about how embarrassing it was to be horrible at something, especially when people are watching. We had all only learned how to play the game a couple of minutes beforehand, yet we all seemed frustrated, or maybe humiliated, that we weren’t experts at it yet. Hearing phrases like “Ugh, I suck at this” or “Yep, I give up” after one try at something is infiltrating our everyday conversations. 

 

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Why is it embarrassing to be bad at things? Not everyone is going to be good at everything; surely, we all know that. But whether we accept that, is a different matter.   

  
 

Our culture is exponentially speeding up. We have everything at our fingertips: information, directions, facts, technology, entertainment, and so much more. We are so used to getting what we want immediately and giving up if we don’t get instant gratification. Are we, as a humanity, losing the value for perseverance? Heeding the words of St. Catherine of Siena, does this mean that we’ll soon be unable to achieve anything great?   

 
 

One could argue that it’s good that we are living in a time of easily accessible technology that makes life easier and speedier. They would be right in many respects. Our world now has more opportunity than ever for people of all backgrounds. It is easier to get an education, to make friends all over the world, to travel, and to make and keep connections.   

  
 

But the question that cannot be ignored is at what cost? Losing the ability to even want to try? Expecting instant gratification from everything we pursue? What will our humanity become if our culture becomes one based on short-cuts, apathy, and cowardice?   

 
 

When I was younger, I was terrified of heights. I still remember the first time I realized that planes actually flew in the sky. I was four years old, and we were flying from Boston to Florida. My mom nudged me to look out the window. I had been on planes before but seeing the distance from my seat to the ground sent a wave of terror and realization that marked the beginning of my fear of heights. I gripped the armrests of the chair for the rest of the flight. 

  
 

Fast forward to high school. I still wasn’t the biggest fan of heights, but, ironically, I was going to attend an adventure camp in Leenane, Ireland that my older sister worked at. I had grown up hearing the crazy things my sister did at this camp and envied her bravery, daring attitude, and overall, that she didn’t have a crippling fear of heights keeping her from having fun.  

  
 

When I arrived at the camp, I interacted with her fearless co-workers who were up in all sorts of heights every single day and I was in awe. I saw the way they playfully teased the kids who were afraid of heights, the way they effortlessly strode across wobbly wooden bridges suspended 40 feet in the air. I wanted to be them. I wanted to be carefree and effortlessly courageous like them.  

 

So, I pretended to be confident. I pretended not to be afraid of heights.   

 
 

I’m not saying this is the best idea, and I’m not sure how convincing I was that first year that I was at the camp. If my hesitation didn’t give it away, my quaking hands and legs no doubt did, no matter the brave face I made or apathetic words I said. There was only one activity I opted out of that year, bungee jumping.

 

 

The next year I went back, I used the same strategy, and I found I was less afraid. The same thing happened the next year, and the next year. By the time I was in my sophomore year of high school (the last year that I went) I had next to no fear soaring through the heights and the trees of the Irish wilderness. 

  
 

Even though the fear that I had of heights was next to crippling, I persevered. It may have been fueled by partly silly peer pressure and partly insecurities, but I still learned something about perseverance. We need to start facing our fears. We need to start challenging ourselves. We need to start living, in both that we are good at and that we are bad at. We need to start being okay with being humiliated, or genuinely working to improve ourselves at something.  

  
 

The other day I was working on this complicated stunt with a dance partner. It’s called the “Perch” where the girl starts sitting on the ground and must jump up, land on the boy’s shoulder and essentially flip forwards back on the ground. We fell. And fell again. And again. And again.  

  
 

At around our ninth fall he said to me, “Wow, most people would have given up by now!” Those words struck me. Why do we give up so easily?  

  
 

After about thirteen falls we finally succeeded in doing the move. And then succeeded again. And again. And again.  

  
 

I still have the bruises from those falls, but they were so worth it. Imagine if we had given up after the tenth fall. We would have gone away from that experience with only bruises, disappointment, and loss of self-esteem. Instead, we came away with success.

 

  

It is vital that, as a humanity, we return to appreciating and increasing respects for perseverance. What kind of generations are we going to be raising, if it's one based on quitting, pride, and abandoning? Not just in hobbies and academics, but in relationships and families too. 

  
 

Families are becoming more broken.  

  
 

According to ourworldindata.org, marriages are decreasing, and single parenting is becoming more common. Commitment is diminishing, it's becoming more of a trend in our culture to “not commit” to someone or something.

 

 

Much of this data comes as no surprise. When perseverance is no longer taught or valued, how can one expect anything to last or to become great?  

 

 
The truth is, we cannot expect anything to last or to become great if we cannot even persevere in the little things, or if we cannot persevere in loving our own families? How much has been accomplished in the world with no work?

 

 

That being said, not all hope is lost (of course, that is the whole point of this article). We can persevere in perseverance. Intentionally bring perseverance back into your life if you notice a lack of it. Is there a hobby that you gave up on? A sport? Some homework? Friendships or relationships that you couldn’t be bothered to keep up on?  

  
 

Choose one difficult thing and intentionally persevere at it. Maybe record how you do with it now, and then see in a couple weeks or months how you have improved.  

  
 
 

And together, let's bring back perseverance as an important value to one's life, one's family, and one's manner.